Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Tears.

I have cried more than I care to admit in the past week. I burst into tears in several public places...not just a small single tear down my cheek...no. ugly, gross, uncontrollable crying. The poor woman I spoke to at the insurance company got an ear full of ugly crying as well. Poor Pat at Aetna.

Over the past week, I've had surgery to scrape endometriosis out of my abdominal cavity, a subsequent infection, and a painful recovery. Before the surgery, my car broke down and we thought it was fixed, but now it seems as if I might have to replace my dear friend Gladys...my emotions are on a razor's edge.


Thank Jesus for Jared. He has been more than wonderful through this entire process. He's taken so much time to protect me and comfort me and truly minister to my spirit through his own giving spirit. He's more than I deserve.

While I was crying in my car this morning at McDonald's, I was reminded that God has my best interest in mind. I was reminded that no matter how much I feel like life is falling apart, it is part of HIS wonderful plan for me and for Jared and our future.

This week has been evidence of God's love for me, but I didn't see it at the time. I didn't see that the reason I'm so upset and hurt is because it is so different from how I normally feel. I'm normally healthy. When I compare this week to how I normally feel and act, I see that God has blessed me so much in my life. I need to remember this. I need to remember.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 NKJV)


Be in prayer for us. I know in my heart that Jared and I will be more than fine, but sometimes my head gets the best of me.

Oh, how He loves us!


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